May222013

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May152013

Humans. Why.

I’ve decided that my new mindset is actually wonderful. I feel happy, content even. All it took was for my heart to be absolutely shredded into a million pieces.

But it wasn’t all at once… it was a gradual procedure. The way he did it was not humble, it was not nice at all. It was crueler than cruel. As I reminisce on everything it reminds me of how disappointing and misleading people in life can be. This seemingly amazing, perfect, attractive person comes into your life out of absolutely no where and makes you feel great- he makes you fall for him. It was a fall from cloud 9. You fall in love together, you get to know each other from inside out.. every little thing becomes apparent to you, and you love it even if you hate it. You make love together, not being able to imagine ever being with anyone else and being able to feel the way this person makes you feel because it’s simply unique. You think everything you have is special, ever-lasting. Then all of a sudden this person you shared all these emotions with.. is now a stranger. He has to go away and leave you. He very slowly leaves because he cannot truly let you go. He doesn’t want you to feel that way about any one else because that would hurt him. But eventually you have had enough of this broken record situation and you just come to a stop. Everything is over, no more lead-ons. No more false hope. No more… then he finds another girl. She’s very fond of him. He will probably do the same thing to her, because he has to go away. It hurts to know, he was meant to love me so much, forever even- but he has to go away eventually, right? That was meant to be why. But then why should he take the risk with another girl? Why does he do this? 

I just don’t understand relationships… people just hurt too much. People are hypocrits, they lie and they disappoint. 

But I will not let this break me, because I deserve to be treated as a first choice. Special. Cared about with patience… something he couldn’t do. 

6AM

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urbanxx: more here

urbanxx:

more here

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This is how you lose her.  You lose her when you forget to remember the little things that mean the world to her: the sincerity in a stranger’s voice during a trip to the grocery, the delight of finding something lost or forgotten like a sticker from when she was five, the selflessness of a child giving a part of his meal to another, the scent of new books in the store, the surprise short but honest notes she tucks in her journal and others you could only see if you look closely. You must remember when she forgets.  You lose her when you don’t notice that she notices everything about you: your use of the proper punctuation that tells her continuation rather than finality, your silence when you’re about to ask a question but you think anything you’re about to say to her would be silly, your mindless humming when it is too quiet, your handwriting when you sign your name in blank sheets of paper, your muted laughter when you are trying to be polite, and more and more of what you are, which you don’t even know about yourself, because she pays attention. She remembers when you forget.  You lose her for every second you make her feel less and less of the  beauty that she is. When you make her feel that she is replaceable. She wants to feel cherished. When you make her feel that you are fleeting. She wants you to stay. When you make her feel inadequate. She wants to know that she is enough and she does not need to change for you, nor for anyone else because she is she and she is beautiful, kind and good. You must learn her.  You must know the reason why she is silent. You must trace her weakest spots. You must write to her. You must remind her that you are there. You must know how long it takes for her to give up. You must be there to hold her when she is about to.  You must love her because many have tried and failed. And she wants to know that she is worthy to be loved, that she is worthy to be kept. And, this is how you keep her.

This is how you lose her. 

You lose her when you forget to remember the little things that mean the world to her: the sincerity in a stranger’s voice during a trip to the grocery, the delight of finding something lost or forgotten like a sticker from when she was five, the selflessness of a child giving a part of his meal to another, the scent of new books in the store, the surprise short but honest notes she tucks in her journal and others you could only see if you look closely.

You must remember when she forgets. 

You lose her when you don’t notice that she notices everything about you: your use of the proper punctuation that tells her continuation rather than finality, your silence when you’re about to ask a question but you think anything you’re about to say to her would be silly, your mindless humming when it is too quiet, your handwriting when you sign your name in blank sheets of paper, your muted laughter when you are trying to be polite, and more and more of what you are, which you don’t even know about yourself, because she pays attention.

She remembers when you forget. 

You lose her for every second you make her feel less and less of the  beauty that she is. When you make her feel that she is replaceable. She wants to feel cherished. When you make her feel that you are fleeting. She wants you to stay. When you make her feel inadequate. She wants to know that she is enough and she does not need to change for you, nor for anyone else because she is she and she is beautiful, kind and good.

You must learn her. 

You must know the reason why she is silent. You must trace her weakest spots. You must write to her. You must remind her that you are there. You must know how long it takes for her to give up. You must be there to hold her when she is about to. 

You must love her because many have tried and failed. And she wants to know that she is worthy to be loved, that she is worthy to be kept.

And, this is how you keep her.

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coyotegold: Ideal life

coyotegold:

Ideal life

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