I’ve decided that my new mindset is actually wonderful. I feel happy, content even. All it took was for my heart to be absolutely shredded into a million pieces.
But it wasn’t all at once… it was a gradual procedure. The way he did it was not humble, it was not nice at all. It was crueler than cruel. As I reminisce on everything it reminds me of how disappointing and misleading people in life can be. This seemingly amazing, perfect, attractive person comes into your life out of absolutely no where and makes you feel great- he makes you fall for him. It was a fall from cloud 9. You fall in love together, you get to know each other from inside out.. every little thing becomes apparent to you, and you love it even if you hate it. You make love together, not being able to imagine ever being with anyone else and being able to feel the way this person makes you feel because it’s simply unique. You think everything you have is special, ever-lasting. Then all of a sudden this person you shared all these emotions with.. is now a stranger. He has to go away and leave you. He very slowly leaves because he cannot truly let you go. He doesn’t want you to feel that way about any one else because that would hurt him. But eventually you have had enough of this broken record situation and you just come to a stop. Everything is over, no more lead-ons. No more false hope. No more… then he finds another girl. She’s very fond of him. He will probably do the same thing to her, because he has to go away. It hurts to know, he was meant to love me so much, forever even- but he has to go away eventually, right? That was meant to be why. But then why should he take the risk with another girl? Why does he do this?
I just don’t understand relationships… people just hurt too much. People are hypocrits, they lie and they disappoint.
But I will not let this break me, because I deserve to be treated as a first choice. Special. Cared about with patience… something he couldn’t do.